A Supplication in Thoughts

By Zakia Mahomed

Magnificent Lord, King of kings
What can I say, that I haven’t already told You?
I bring You nothing but my broken heart,
I bring You my whispers in the dark,
When all my soul is laid bare
I offer my wracking sobs, a sound that chills even as it soothes, to Your Patient Ear

Beloved Lord, Subtle Penetrator of Hearts
I bring You my worthlessness
I bring You my shame and guilt for years of a wasted life
I offer my self-destroying darkness to Your Perpetual Light
I give my pain, my anger, my helplessness over to Your Pervading Peace

True Fount of Love Eternal
Bountiful Sustainer
Give me numbness!
Give me blessed numbness and abhorrence for this world
Help me to feel nothing but You
Allow this despicable lowly slave to one day see the face of her Master on High

You know the stench of my sins
You know my piety’s fragrance
You know the depravity of my worldly desires
You know my soul’s ardent eternal wish
And still, You allow me to live?

I am not fit to be dust, Lord!
I am not worthy of shadows!

But please, DO forgive me
Don’t forsake me
Don’t leave me to myself
Have mercy on me
Save me
Love me, Ya Allah,
Please will YOU love me?


Zakia Mahomed is a middle school teacher and an aspiring chef.