House

By Mohamed Lazzouni

My house of worship has a dome, a phantom minaret, a pulpit, glass windows, beautiful rugs, terrible art, no library, and a prayer niche.

It is under constant surveillance.

We visit occasionally. We feel less fortunate when we meet our faith, and it turns away from us in protest.

In my house of worship, we take turns being difficult.

We complain about the air and the water. We find the rugs too soft. Our fellow congregants are ill-mannered.

My house of worship has two doors, one for those who like to come, and the other for those who cannot wait to leave.

We share the sanctuary. There is no disagreement there. Though occasionally, we leave our women outside.

Those with good hearing can hear the aphorisms of sages, the teachings of scholars. 

We hear the voices of saints, the battle cries of heroes, the silent prayers of martyrs.

Things also happen in the space between our hearts and our minds.

Our thoughts stray quite far.

We speak too much of the roaring thunder of the inferno and not enough of the gentle murmurs of the flowing rivers.

We come to learn, we come to find ourselves, and we come to heal.

We also come to cry, or we come to fight.

We rarely come to be inspired. We have also long since lost beauty.

My house of worship is no longer mine. We are not hers either.

I often stand outside and feel estranged.

With indignation, I hope to burn it to the ground to start anew.

I will rebuild it with Abraham’s intention.

I will reuse his corner stone.

On the stone, I will engrave a prayer:

“May this house of worship become a place for beauty,

a place for love, 

a source of enlightenment, 

and a source of inspiration.

May these words permeate the walls, the roof, the floor, and the beautiful chandelier.

May every guest who enters it, feel at home.

We feel blessed by your presence.”

At the midnight sun, my house of worship will become the world’s navel and I will no longer feel lost.

Then again, none of this might happen.

I will continue to dwell in the shadows outside and dream of imminent changes.

 

Mohamed Lazzouni is an Imam at the Islamic Center of Boston in Wayland, MA. He holds a PH.D. in Physics from Oxford University, and a masters in Physics from London University.